Pro-Active Counselling
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THE RESULT OF A SPLIT SELF | |
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CORPORATE CHARADE (EGO NEEDS - WHO WE WANT TO BE) |
SELF (ESSENCE OF WHO WE ARE) |
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Built on competency and success |
Built on self-esteem |
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Corporate-confidence Confidence comes from our corporate competence and success |
Self-confidence Confidence comes from self-esteem |
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External |
Internal |
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Competency & success (transient - which will change) Based on life's external circumstances Seeks success to prove competence to self and others |
Sense of self (permanent) Based on the essence of who we are - our internal circumstances Does not need to prove anything to self or others |
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Need to be competent & successful to maintain status Become competent & successful |
Need to be true to the self Become who we are |
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Seek success to prove competence |
Seeks to accept self |
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Rejects/Fears failure |
Accepts and learns from mistakes |
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Focus on external factors Other approving Attempts to/believes can change what others think Tries to/believes can control external circumstances Focus on past and future (worry and anxiety) |
Focus on internal factors Self-approving Does not need to change what others think Does not try to control external factors Focus on the now |
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Experiences/ perception (reality) is skewed byunderlying esteem beliefs |
Experiences/perception (reality) is based on innate feelings |
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Success leaves us empty |
Success fills us up |
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Who we are has a huge cost associated with it. Not maintainable over the long term.Relatively temporary. |
Who we are is maintainable. There is a lower cost to doing that which we do well and that which comes naturally. Relatively permanent. |
While these charts are displaying two extremes, we do not exist in absolutes. These charts show absolutes so that we can CLEARLY see the effects of these processes in play. This dynamic can occur in gradations, in shades of gray, not in black and white and can change from day to day. It may therefore more accurately be read as the extent to which we put on a Corporate Charade is the extent that we change our "selves". The extent to which we are not ourselves when we are successful is the extent to which we build our Corporate Confidence not our Self-Confidence. The extent to which we self-accept is the extent to which we access our self-esteem.
